Celebrating the Valor of Caregivers

World Alzheimer’s Month, recognized during September, is a global initiative for raising awareness for dementia. The initiative seeks to promote a more inclusive and supportive society for people living with the condition. World Alzheimer’s Month is also an opportunity for recognizing the unsung heroes of informal caregivers.

Caregivers face enormous challenges and often engage in grueling tasks, endure emotional strain, face mounting hardships, and experience multiple modalities of grief. And they get up and do it all over again the next day! Caregivers truly exemplify valor in so many ways!

Merriam-Webster defines valor as strength of mind or spirit that enables a person to encounter danger with firmness, personal bravery. Benita Hampton also sums it up beautifully, saying, “To our caregivers, you are tender and fierce, you are soft and strong, you are fragile and courageous. Sometimes all in one day.”

While there is much emphasis on the challenges of caregiving, there are also many benefits associated with caregiving that are worthy of recognition. When you are down and out, as all caregivers are from time to time, remember your value as a caregiver. Caring for another is a great treasure of life.

• Caregivers are the backbone of the American healthcare system and represent the largest support system for loved ones.

• Caregivers provide life-changing, life-supporting care for seniors, persons with disabilities, and non-seniors with chronic or non-curable diseases while also maintaining full-time jobs and other responsibilities.

• Caregivers are a profoundly significant source of love, care, nourishment, and companionship to their loved one.

• Caregivers are the cornerstone of society, tending to the medical, emotional, physical, and spiritual needs of their loved one.

• Caregivers offer a hands-on, valuable role within the caregiving spectrum.

Three Characteristic of Caregiver Valor

1. COURAGE.

Whether or not you consider yourself as courageous, you demonstrate courage daily. Every day you muster strength from within, from your faith, to support your loved one. It is not an easy path. Often the challenges are enormous. You may face lack of support of family. You may experience dynamics from your loved one that are not visible to the public. This dichotomy wreaks havoc on your emotional and mental stability. And yet, despite the odds, you show up ready to care for your loved one.

That, my friend, is the height of courage. You are a hero in your own right. You are not perfect. You doubt. You have misgivings. And you emerge through it with renewed strength and ability to face fear. Dr. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross states, “The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”

When courage is faltering, as it will, think on these truths for increased vitality.

• My mistakes teach me more about myself every day.

• I have strengths that support me through challenging times.

• Laughter is a source of strength through adversity.

• I strive for progress, not perfection.

• I carry courage with me always.

2. PERSEVERANCE

Whether you have chosen the role of caregiver or it has chosen you, caregivers demonstrate perseverance. Throughout the typical valleys and peaks of caregiving, you steadfastly put forth the effort despite challenges and setbacks. Perseverance is not the absence of fear, difficulty, or despair. It is pressing on despite fear, difficulty, or despair.

Caregiving often calls you to repetitively perform tasks or phrases. The repetition is exhausting, often leading to fatigue and annoyance. Perseverance recognizes the normalcy of these feelings and yet presses on. Disappointments and setbacks are typical in caregiving. Your perseverance allows you to muster through.

Caregivers also deal with complex disease management issues. With little to no training, you embark on a primary caregiver role that requires expertise in fields beyond your knowledge all while maintaining a career, a home, and relationships. “A hero,” as Christopher Reeve acknowledges, “is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure despite overwhelming obstacles.” Yet even the word heroic does not fully capture the extraordinary strength and stamina of caregivers. Never underestimate yourself. You are of priceless value!

3. RESILIENCE

Caregivers face adversity and a constantly changing landscape. Despite these challenges, caregivers confront these obstacles with resilience. Caregivers learn to uncover their capacity to withstand and quickly recover from adversity. As the caregiver journey develops, you respond with adaptability, Honoring your relationship, you acknowledge fluctuating changes and respond accordingly. You are an overcomer!

You assess challenges. Rather than entertaining discouragement, you direct a path around them. Let’s face it... caregiving is hard. You accept adversity acknowledging its value for personal growth. As Bernice Johnson Reagan profoundly believed, “Life’s challenges are not supposed to paralyze you; they’re supposed to help you discover who you are.” Rather than striving against, you embrace challenges. You are an overcomer. You triumph.

The valor of caregivers is exemplified in their tenacity. With little recognition and insurmountable obstacles, caregivers remain strong as the frontline defense for their loved ones. Caregivers are a spokesperson, a friend, a comforter, an unsung hero, a difference maker. Caregivers provide hope, guidance, and encouragement. In your caregiver journey be mindful of the words penned by Leo Buscaglia. “Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, and honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”

In a world where you are often overlooked and misunderstood, know in your soul that every day you are an extraordinary hero.

The heart of a caregiver is a rare element on earth

They define the true meaning and value of God's worth

The soul of a caregiver is precious and pure

Their spirits are heavenly, of that I am sure

The selfless compassion and love that they share

Provides relief, joy, and comfort just knowing they're there

Their efforts often unnoticed, full of strength and emotion

Bring peace to the heavens with angelic devotion

Many nights they are restless, their minds filled with unease

Because they devote their lives to tend to others' needs

There is none more deserving than one with the caregiver ability

They show peace, love, and mercy and give our loved ones dignity

Caregiver, a special place in heaven is waiting for you

There is a special place inside my heart that is reserved for you, too

Thank you for everything, all of it, and more

I pray someone so kind is there for you when you knock on God's door

You are loved and respected and cherished

And I wouldn't have known what to do without you

By Ryann Huff