Overcoming Three Myths of Caregiver Fatigue

Some mornings, I wake up feeling like a hamster on a wheel—today will be a repeat of yesterday, and tomorrow will look just the same. I catch myself wondering: What happened to me? I don’t feel like I’m coping anymore. The responsibilities are endless, my emotions are all over the place, I feel like I’m missing out on life, and the guilt that comes with it is overwhelming.

So I do what many caregivers do—I press on. I push the feelings down and keep going.

There’s a time and place for perseverance and grit. But pushing your feelings down, day after day, isn’t healthy. It’s not productive, and it’s not truly caring for anyone—not even the person you’re caring for.

Now I can already hear the objections:

• I don’t have any help.
  

• I’d never ask anyone to step in—I’m the one who knows what my loved one needs.
  

• No one gives the same level of care I do.
  

• I can’t afford outside help.
  

I hear you. But I hope you’ll stick with me as we look at a few common myths—and some small, practical ways to move forward.

Myth #1 – Asking for Help Is a Sign of Weakness

It takes humility to ask for help. We love our people. We take our responsibilities seriously. The thought of handing part of that off to someone else feels wrong—or impossible. Especially when your loved one is living with something that involves outbursts, safety concerns, or added stress. Add in the financial piece, and it feels even more complicated.

We’re expected to wear so many hats—case manager, counselor, nurse, therapist. We give injections, provide wound care, monitor symptoms, and manage crises. It’s become an unspoken expectation: you’re the caregiver, so you’ll handle it.

But that expectation is unrealistic—and unhealthy.

Instead of bearing it all alone, here are a few ideas for seeking support in manageable ways:

• Start with one task For me, it was mowing the yard. I never had the skill—or the time. After a lot of effort,

  I finally found someone reliable. It’s made a real difference. Help doesn’t have to come from another person. Sometimes it’s technology. We use a camera system that allows me to check in on my loved one when I need to run errands. Depending on how long I’ll be gone, I’ll also ask a friend or family member to check in.
  

• Tap into your medical team Our care team’s social worker has been a huge help—especially when applying for disability. If you have a social worker in your network, I highly recommend reaching out. They know things you don’t know you need to know.
  

• Look into palliative care This has been a game-changer for us. Palliative care focuses on comfort and quality of life—for both the patient and the caregiver. It can be provided at any stage of illness, and it doesn’t mean you’re giving up. If you haven’t explored this yet, I encourage you to.
  

Myth #2 – Prioritizing Myself Is Selfish

When everything falls to you, taking time for yourself feels impossible—or wrong. But let’s clear something up: Prioritizing yourself doesn’t mean neglecting your loved one.

It means recognizing your own needs and honoring them. It means saying no when you need to, and yes when it matters. It means treating yourself like someone who also deserves care.

It doesn’t have to involve a massage or a shopping trip. Here are some simpler ways to make space for yourself:

• Create a calm space It doesn’t have to be fancy. I like turning on the electric fireplace—it adds a little peace to my day, even just walking past it.
  

• Practice self-compassion Let yourself be human. Dr. Kristin Neff talks about equanimity—accepting that we are not in control of outcomes. We can give our best, but we cannot control what happens. That truth is hard—and freeing.
  

Myth #3 – Positive Self-Talk Doesn’t Matter

Your inner dialogue matters more than you think.

According to 7 Summit Pathways, your internal voice shapes how you see yourself, the world, and your situation. It affects your beliefs, emotions, and how you show up in your caregiving role.

If your days feel heavy, your thoughts likely do too. But that doesn’t mean they’re telling the truth.

Choosing a kinder, more encouraging inner voice can help lighten the load. It’s not about pretending things are fine. It’s about offering yourself the same grace and support you’d offer anyone else in your position.

Try saying:

• I am kind and patient with myself.
  

• I am resilient and face challenges with courage.
  

• I set boundaries to care for myself and others well.
  

• I’m grateful for the life I have and the moments of joy in it.
  

Final Thoughts

Caregiver fatigue is real—but it’s not inevitable.

When you ask for help, honor your needs, and change the way you talk to yourself, you’re not giving up. You’re creating space to keep going—with more strength and less resentment.

To every caregiver reading this: You are not alone.You are not failing.You are not selfish for needing support.

The best care you give starts with the care you offer yourself.