When Roles Change

When Roles Change, Caregiving and Care Receiving

The role changes that come with caregiving are a complex topic. Each person in the relationship is different, and each entrance into caregiving comes at various stages of life for both patient and caregiver. These factors alone make it a multi-faceted topic. This is a brief beginner overview of the role changes that come with caregiving. Hopefully, this will serve as a jumping-off point for you to research.

Caregiving for Children vs. Caregiving for Adults

Two significant factors in approaching the role of caregiving are age and family dynamics. Friends or family needing care who are young can grow and learn, but an adult transitioning into needing a caregiver suffers the loss of growth and freedom. Creating a hopeful and joyful environment during this change is possible, but it is often something we must learn how to create. Adults needing care know they will no longer be growing out of this stage, and they suffer a massive loss of hope as their independence declines.

All humans deserve respect, kindness, and hope. Particularly those that have lived a longer life and have grown used to the freedom of adult life. Walking this line of giving dignity to those acutely feeling loss is challenging, but it does not have to be lonely. Support groups are an excellent resource for those transitioning into caregiver and receiver.

Variability of Caregiving

Caregiving comes with a need for flexibility. One day the roles include chef, accountant, and driver. The next day the roles required include medical advocate, child, and housekeeper. The ever-changing requirements for caregivers add significantly to the cognitive load. We must figure out new systems or tools to fulfill the needs. When overwhelming feelings hit, having a list of support resources to call immediately can enormously aid in returning to a peaceful environment for all involved.

Progression of Loss, Ambiguous Grief

Ambiguous grief and the slow progression of loss vs. those whose condition change quickly or suddenly is another consideration in the discussion of changing roles.

When we are new to caregiving, we think of it as one continuous job, and it is, but it is a job that is ever-changing and requires continuing education, as the care receivers needs change.

Learning to navigate this journey is best done with the help, encouragement, and creativity of others who have walked this road already. And self-care for the caregiver is a requirement; it cannot be optional.

Societal Expectations

Diverse cultures approach the topic of caregiving differently. It is also relatively normal for different societal expectations around caregiving, including different expectations for different ages of caregivers and receivers.

Expectation does not have to be a sticking point if healthy boundaries and expectations are an open discussion. But without effective communication, that topic can be a touchy one.

Finding a support group or forums where you can discuss care and caregiver expectations can be an excellent way to learn and discuss healthy boundaries for the comfort and safety of all.

Discussing expectations and support resources can also be helpful in the initial stages after an illness or diagnosis happens. That way, you can have your wishes and desires heard and listed before split-second decisions are required.

Caregiving as a Journey

Climbing a mountain is accomplished one step at a time and best done with help and expertise to keep everyone safe. Similarly, caregiving will have some rocky places to navigate. Starting this journey with support and hope is essential. Self-care is not optional, and it is a need for everyone involved.

Many services, like WeCare at the Benjamin Rose Institute on Aging, are available. The first consultation is free. Do not embark on this long journey alone.

Written by Whitney Creath