Five Lessons from Those for Whom We Care

Karen Leeman
May 16
4 min read

Every May, we celebrate Older Americans Month, a time to honor the immense contributions of older adults—not just what they have done in their lifetimes, but what they continue to offer today.

For family caregivers, this month carries special meaning. In the midst of managing medications, appointments, and daily routines, we can sometimes lose sight that caregiving isn’t just about giving—it’s also about receiving.

Those we care for have lived rich, complex lives, and each day with them offers opportunities to learn about resilience, history, humor, and the essence of what it means to live a full life.

This May, let’s slow down, listen closely, and take to heart what those in our care continue to teach us.

Lesson #1 - The Power of Storytelling

Older adults hold the living history of families, communities, and even nations. Their stories stretch beyond personal memories; they are tapestries woven with lessons about courage, perseverance, love, and loss.

As caregivers, we are uniquely positioned to hear these stories—if we take the time to ask and to listen. These conversations are not only meaningful; they are transformative.

Resilience in Adversity — Many older adults have lived through wars, economic depression, civil rights movements, health crises, and personal hardships. Hearing how they navigated uncertain times can offer us powerful insights into facing challenges today.
The Simplicity of Joy — In a world that moves quickly, older adults—often unable to do the things they once could—remind us that true happiness is found in simple pleasures like sharing a meal, writing a note by hand, or taking a quiet walk outdoors.
The Endurance of Love — Through decades-long relationships, families they’ve built and nurtured, and friendships that have stood the test of time, older adults teach us what lasting commitment, forgiveness, and deep connection truly mean.

Each story is a gift. Each memory shared is a bridge between generations.

Lesson #2 - Learning Patience, Presence, and Adaptability

Caregiving requires constant flexibility. A good day can quickly become challenging as plans shift, moods change, memory fades, and mobility declines. In these moments, caregiving teaches us a deeper kind of patience—not just with others, but with ourselves.

Presence becomes a skill, a form of love. Being fully present—without rushing, without distraction—often means more than anything we can do. Sitting quietly, holding a hand, sharing a laugh or a tear—these simple acts create moments of true connection.

Caregivers often find that their ability to be adaptable and emotionally present strengthens over time. And that strength, born in caregiving, becomes a lasting part of who they are.

Lesson #3 - Gratitude for the Small Moments

In the caregiving journey, milestones may not look the same as they once did. Instead of big achievements, we find meaning in smaller victories and tender moments:

A genuine smile on a difficult day.
A moment of clarity in the midst of memory loss.
A favorite song that sparks singing or dancing.
A quiet afternoon spent simply enjoying each other’s company.

Older adults often teach us—by simply being themselves—how to find deep contentment in life’s small moments. They remind us that in the end, it’s not the grand accomplishments that matter most, but the love and presence we share.

Lesson #4 - Crafting a Living Legacy

Caregiving offers a unique opportunity to actively build and preserve a legacy. This can take many forms:

Recording family stories or recipes to pass down
Creating photo albums or scrapbooks together
Learning traditions, songs, or cultural practices that might otherwise be lost
Preserving their advice and philosophies in writing

In doing so, we honor the person we are caring for—and we create something lasting for future generations.

If you’re not sure how to begin, Remento is an app that helps families capture and preserve meaningful stories. It offers thoughtful prompts and makes it easy to record memories through video or audio—something you can return to and share with your loved ones for years to come.

However you choose to approach it, legacy-building can be a beautiful, healing part of the caregiving experience—one that helps both caregiver and elder find purpose and connection, even in the hardest seasons.

Lesson #5 - Honoring the Teachers Among Us

This Older Americans Month, let’s move beyond simply celebrating aging. Let’s celebrate learning from those who have journeyed before us. Every interaction is a chance to gain wisdom. Every story plants a seed of understanding.

Family caregiving is demanding. It can be exhausting and overwhelming, and at times downright heartbreaking—but woven throughout are powerful lessons about strength, love, patience, and the enduring value of life itself.

Henri J. M. Nouwen—a Dutch Catholic priest, professor, and renowned spiritual writer—captures the essence of the caregiving relationship in this quote:

“Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter into the places of pain, to share in brokenness, fear, confusion, and anguish. Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears. Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless. Compassion means full immersion in the condition of being human.”